Hey, everybody. Have you ever noticed how we sometimes collapse, too, two different things into one? I think we do that with these two words, forgiveness and reconciliation. I mean, think about this. It's like the sound of hands clapping twice in quick succession.
Just like that. Two distinct sounds. But if a clap is quick enough, they start to sound like one event. That's what we often do with forgiveness and reconciliation. We collapse them together as if they're the same thing. But they're not. Forgiveness happens inside of us. Reconciliation occurs between us and someone else. And this distinction, well, it changes everything. In Romans, chapter 12, verse 18, Paul writes something fascinating. He says, do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Now, notice he doesn't say, make sure you have a perfect relationship with everyone. He doesn't say, ensure everyone likes and treats you well. He says, do all that you can. There's a recognition here that sometimes the other person may not be willing or able to do their part. They. They might not apologize. They might not change their behavior. They might not even acknowledge the harm that they've caused. But that's where we get stuck, isn't it? We think, how can I forgive if they haven't apologized? How can I forgive if they're still doing that harmful thing? But what if forgiveness isn't about them at all? What if it's about us? What if forgiveness, the decision to stop drinking the poison of bitterness, hoping that the other person will be affected.
A study from the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that forgiveness, even without reconciliation, is associated with lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone linked to heart disease, diabetes, and weakened immune functions. Now, just think about this. I mentioned it on Monday. You can experience the healing benefits of forgiveness, even if reconciliation never happens. You see, when Jesus was dying on the cross, he said, father, forgive them, for they don't know what they're doing.
Listen, they didn't ever apologize to Jesus. They didn't make amends. They didn't even acknowledge what they'd done or why. But what does Jesus model for us? Forgiveness. Not because of what they did was okay, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because forgiveness breaks the cycle. It refuses to let hatred and bitterness have the last, last word, but rather love, which is exactly what Jesus is. Love. And here's what's fascinating. Jesus didn't say, I forgive you. He said, father, forgive them. Sometimes the hurt so deep, the word is so profound that we need divine help to forgive. We need to recognize that true forgiveness, it exceeds our human capacity. As it says in Ephesians 4:31, get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you. We forgive because, well, we've been forgiven. We access a power that's way beyond ourselves. Now, to be super clear today, forgiveness doesn't mean you always reconcile with the person who hurt you. It doesn't mean you have to trust them again. In some cases, reconciliation may not even be safe, and it may not be wise. It may not even be possible. And that's okay. You can forgive and still make maintain healthy boundaries. You can forgive and still seek justice. You can forgive and still choose not to have them in your daily life. Forgiveness is about moving forward, not about erasing the past. It's about creating space for new, better, more peaceful future. It's not about pretending that the hurt didn't happen. It's about preventing that hurt from determining what happens next. Paul writes to the Corinthian Church in Second Corinthians, chapter 5, verse 18. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. The Bible's big story is about reconciliation, about bringing things back together that have been broken and torn apart. When we practice forgiveness, we're participating in this bigger story. We're doing the work of bringing healing to a broken world. But sometimes reconciliation with the person who hurt us isn't part of our particular story. And that's okay, too. So here's my question for you today on the Weekday Podcast.
Is there someone that you need to forgive? Is there a hurt? You've been carrying this weighing you down? And what would it look like to begin the process of forgiveness, not to excuse what happened, but to free yourself from the ongoing power over it? And can you separate forgiveness from reconciliation in your heart, your mind and your soul? And can you acknowledge that you might be able to do one without the other? Forgiveness, friend, is a gift you give yourself. Reconciliation. It's a process that may or may not follow. This is Pastor Chuck, and you're listening to the Weekday Podcast. Thanks so much for joining us today. I'll be back Friday to wrap up our series on forgiveness. God bless you. Take care. Bye now.
