Forgiveness isn't just a nice concept. It's not just a spiritual obligation. It's actually how we're wired to heal. That’s right - God made you to forgive.
"Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." — Colossians 3:13 NLT
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." — Matthew 6:14-15 NLT
Here is a practical and prayerful understanding: Not by might nor by power can we fully forgive in our human capacity, but by the power of Christ surging through us. It is only in His power that we truly forgive. Truly extend grace, mercy, love, and, yes, forgiveness.
Scientific Research Shows That:
This isn't just church talk. When you choose to forgive, your body experiences physiological changes.
Forgiveness is saying, "I'm no longer going to let what you did define me, control me, or determine my future."
"Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." — Luke 23:34 NLT
Now, I want to be very clear about something. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to reconcile with the person who hurt you. It doesn't mean you have to trust them again.
Forgiveness is for you. Reconciliation may or may not be possible, safe, or wise.
"Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." — Romans 12:18 NLT
A 2008 study in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that forgiveness—even without reconciliation—was associated with lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone linked to heart disease, diabetes, and weakened immune function.
We must acknowledge that forgiveness is a process, often a season, not a one-time event. It's something we choose again and again.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." — Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT
Dr. Frederic Luskin at Stanford University has developed a forgiveness training program that has been tested in multiple studies. One of his key findings is that forgiveness is a skill that can be learned.
Instead of being defined by victimhood, they became survivors. Instead of their stories ending with hurt, their stories continued into healing.
"If you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." — John 20:23 NLT
When you forgive, forgiveness happens. When you don't forgive, forgiveness doesn't happen. And you're the one who gets stuck.
Forgiveness doesn't just remove the bad stuff—it opens the door for the good stuff to come in.
"And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation." — 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 NLT
The Bible's big story is about reconciliation—about bringing things back together that have been torn apart. When we practice forgiveness, we're participating in this bigger story. We're doing the work of bringing healing to a broken world.
When forgiveness is connected to something bigger than ourselves, it becomes more powerful. AND, please remember. It is in the power of the Spirit of God that we can forgive in the first place.
Forgiveness isn't a one-time event. It's a daily choice. Sometimes it's a moment-by-moment choice.
"Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" — Matthew 18:21 NLT
"No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!" — Matthew 18:22 NLT
Jesus isn't setting up a mathematical formula where you forgive 490 times and then, on offense 491, you can finally hold a grudge. He's saying forgiveness is a way of life. It's a habit. It's something we do repeatedly.
Forgiveness is a Daily practice. Not perfection. Practice.
Forgiveness doesn't replace justice or boundaries or healing. It's part of healing.
"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds." — Psalm 147:3 NLT
Sometimes, the bandages need to stay on for a while. Sometimes, the healing happens in stages. That's okay. Sometimes, we need a coach, a counselor, or a therapist - That’s why we created ClearPathCouseling.org
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." – Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
When we forgive, we find peace. Not because the wrong didn't matter but because we're no longer giving it the power to define us.
The science is precise. Forgiveness heals us—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's how we're designed to work.
And the scriptures are clear, as well. Forgiveness is at the heart of who God is and who God is inviting us to become.
"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony." — Colossians 3:12-14 NLT
